time to smoke my breakfast
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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