I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
