i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
