He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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