Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
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She's like a pop up book from hell.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
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