yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
