Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
