sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
