ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
