I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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