Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
