she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
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A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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