you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
