Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
