sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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