why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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