I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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