I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
