he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
