Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
