I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize