She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm at about main and main street
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
