I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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