I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
