Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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