i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
