Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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