Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
