It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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