Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
