I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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