the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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