My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
