You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize