I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
worst night to have a conscience
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
