This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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