Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
