There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
