he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
