I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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