I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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