Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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