my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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