i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
