apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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