this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
