I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She's the barista slut.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
