I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
