She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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