We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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