I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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