For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
