shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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