its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm at about main and main street
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
