Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
