So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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