you guys were way drunker than both of me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
