her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
