So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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