WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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