This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
