Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
