please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
