Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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