I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
