It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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