If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You ruined the universe
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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